I haven’t blogged for a couple of months because there have
been a few things distracting me. So here are some desultory observations, some
of which may help to explain my recent absence from the blogosphere.
"Death Makes Life Special"
Ironically, I learned this expression while attending the “Happiness
Class” at DePauw University two weeks ago. The class is a four-week undergraduate seminar
taught by my double cousin, Doug Smith. [We are “double cousins,” you see,
because his parents were my parents’ brother and sister. Got
that?] Genealogy aside, Doug’s class teaches the skill of being happy. That’s
right, the happiness skill. As he puts it in his syllabus,
Happiness is a
feeling of well-being and contentment that tends to reside with those who make
choices that lead to serenity about the past, excitement and confidence
about the future, and the ability to experience gratification and
pleasure in the present. While everyone wants to be happy, we often fail to
realize that it is a skill to be happy. It is easy to be miserable. Finding the
wherewithal to have an underlying sense of well-being and contentment even in
turbulent times is difficult.
Among the tools Doug uses to
teach the happiness skill are scores of quotes that prompt class discussions on
such topics as:
· what happiness is
· how the mind creates it
· the power of love to combat fear
· personal choices that affect our moods
· how to deal with setbacks and loss.
One of those quotes, “death is what makes life
special,” seemed unusually poignant because my mother (shown here with her newest "great") died six days before
Christmas. She was 91 and ready to go. She passed over the final horizon
calmly, painlessly, and at peace. In the process, Mom gave my two sisters and me (we were all there at the end) a special gift:
the opportunity to bond as we never had before. For this I am most grateful. Also, the experience reminded me of the profound fact—which two weeks later Doug’s quote would cement firmly in my
mind—that without the prospect of death, life would seem unexceptional.
 |
| 3 double cousins: Carol, Doug & me |
A similarly appropriate quote from the class was: “Happy
people are not afraid of dying; they’re afraid of not living.” That speaks volumes. Think about it.
For more on the Happiness Class, see Doug’s website. And for background reading, pick up a copy of What Happy People Know by Dan Baker and Man’s Search for Meaning by Victor Frankl. (Both are available in a
Kindle edition.)
On Being an Orphan
Now that both of my parents are gone, my main reson for being
in Atlanta has evaporated. Given that I work from home, and since one can apply
the “happiness skill” anywhere, I have literally a world full of options. Atlanta
is a great city, but it’s not at the top of my list for a future domicile. I feel San Diego calling
me back, and other “left coast” options are possible as well. Even Portland, Oregon
intrigues me. (Carol Witherell, another double cousin lives there.) I’ve threatened to
visit each of my offspring for four months a year, or maybe I’ll just buy a
motor home and travel the country, imposing on various friends and former
students for days or weeks at a time. Maybe I'll turn up on your doorstep some day soon. Stay tuned.
The Book is Done!
This was my primary occupation during the fall months:
putting finishing touches on the sixth edition of my textbook. The final page
proofs came in waves, chapter by chapter, then the book rolled off the presses in December, thus ending an eighteen-month gestation
period. The baby looks
great, if I do say so myself. If you’re interested, visit the Health Administration Press website.
In addition to writing the book, I produce monthly articles
for the Healthcare Financial Management Association’s website, especially its “Legal
& Regulatory Forum.” I will speak at the ACHE Congress on Healthcare
Leadership in March. The topic there will be “Writing Policies, Making Sense”—how
to write corporate policies that are clear and enforceable.
Two Curmudgeonly (but Happy!) Musings
First, is
there no such thing as television news these days? I gave up on local TV news broadcasts
years ago because except for sports and weather it’s all sensationalism. Similarly,
the major networks’ news shows consist of a lot of entertainment segments
rather than true information, and we all know that the Fox “News” Channel is just
political propaganda. But for giggles the other day I turned on the Headline
News Network to see what the top stories of the hour would be. They were, in
chronological order:
1. “Controversy” over Governor Haley Barbour’s pardons in
Mississippi, including emotional interviews with the victims’ family members. (This
is not news. Governors have the
discretion to pardon people. Spare me the weepy sentimentalism.)2. Which politicians are not on the ballot in the Virginia primary. (Okay, they didn’t qualify; get over it.)
3. The Italian cruise ship that ran aground and foundered. (Now this is news; why isn’t it the hour's top story?)
4. The San Francisco sheriff who had some kind of domestic dispute with his wife but the wife says it wasn’t a big deal. (If it wasn't, why are you reporting on it? Oh, I forgot. Because it's "sexy" enough to pique viewers' interest and thus help sell air time.)
5. A missing baby case. (Here we go with a Casey Anthony-type thing again. Tugs at yer heartstrings, don’t it?)
6. A story about a girl from a homeless family who is getting a college scholarship and the family is being given a new home. (A feel-good story, for sure; but it’s a feature, not news. It hardly deserves coming before the first break.)
7. Brad and Angelina were guests at the White House. (Gag me!)
Second, is Tim
Tebow a hypocrite? With apologies to
Broncos fans, I’m glad “Tebow Time” has run out for this year. Tebowmania was
getting on my nerves almost as much as the incessant Christmas music that began
playing in stores across America before Halloween.
I mention hypocrisy
because the subject of altruism came up in the Happiness Class, and I recalled a
relevant passage in the Book of Matthew. It’s in Mt. 6:1-4 and reads, in part, “[W]hen
you pray, you must not be like the hypocrites; for they love to stand and pray …
at the street corners, that they may be seen by men. … But when you pray, go
into your room and shut the door [and pray in secret].”
Amen to that!
_______
Best wishes for 2012. I'll try to write more often.
Stuart
